Til Desk Do Us Part

Dear Grace,

Have you heard this a time or two? (Grace sulks and nods head like a pug that has just gotten scolded)

Well don’t fret because I have heard this as well. Being that we have the wardrobe of a homeless duo, this really shouldn’t come as a surprise to us. I’m wondering if we should take it as a compliment that folks call us out for lack of clothing or as an insult.

Compliment: People are so infatuated with us that they take mental notes on what we are wearing on a daily basis.
Insult: We’re sloths who think that it’s acceptable to snag thrice worn Jeans and a shirt in our dirty clothes hamper, Axe them and then don them.

I often wonder why we have no desire to purchase garb to fill out our empty armoires. There aren’t many acceptable reasons. We can afford these deals if we stopped eating so much food and went to Target blowout sales.

The only reasons I can come up with are:
* Laziness – If I had to choose whether to watch Pawn Stars for 3 hours straight or go clothes shopping for 20 minutes, Chumlee wins everyday of the week. And you mentioned once that you wore Depends not out of necessity, but because the bathroom in your apartment (10 feet away from your living room) was just TOO far.
* Lack of self respect – “R.E.S.P.E.C.T., don’t mean shit to me.” – Grace, 10/23/11
* Comfort is King – Some people wake up in the morning (this is what they tell me) and think, let’s wear this and this because it is appropriate for the weather, matches well and is my type of fashion. We look at clothes and thing, what isn’t going to be too confining, because I’m planning on eating an obscene meal for lunch today.

Maybe one day we’ll meet significant others who care for us and will physically dress us. I think that’s our only hope.

Your helpless fashion-less Pen pal,
Brad