Dear Grace, My sincerest apologies for taking my sweet ass time in responding. Let’s see, what can I discuss with you that’s new in my life other than the fact a lady fancies me. Yes and she doesn’t have a mustache. She’s actually quite lovely. Outside of that joy in my world, I have been [...]
Tags: CEO·flatulent·Fran Drescher·muffin tops·Rosie O'Donnell
Dear Grace, We all know how resilient you are. That time where you had to go through surgery to get your tail removed. That other time when in a steroid-filled rage you punched a wall and shattered your left paw. Your most recent injury (which I promised you I wouldn’t broach) had you relegated to [...]
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Dear Grace, I’m writing to you. It has been too long and I take full responsibility. Actually I’m going to take 93% of the responsibility. 7% is on you. After you cropdusted me the other day (after a week of your dairy-only diet), I was in a funk for the rest of that day – [...]
Tags: bottomless·Grace's Goons·Honey·Rash·topless
Dear Grace, It struck me the other day that we might be maturing/becoming adults. Sure, we live for the opportunity to cropdust a subway car full of sticky humans during a humidity-laced Summers day. We relish the opportunity to challenge 7 year olds to an arm wrestling match, beat them and then laugh in their [...]
Tags: Bop It·Capture the Flag·Chuck E Cheese·cropdusting·Dave & Busters·dmb·Melissa Etheridge·wet willies
Dear Grace, I know you’re hitting that time in life when you become a woman. As you’ve clarified to me many times, “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman.” Well now it’s time to own up, man woman up! You’re going to be over the hill which means you must take on the responsibilities [...]
